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Marriage Enrichement
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
A Special kind of Love
There is an odd truth concerning love and marriage. Understanding it is an important key in making marriage and other relationships work. The truth is this we don’t have the ability to really love without the power of the Holy Spirit working through us.
In Galatians 5:22-23, the Apostle Paul tells us the fruit of the Spirit is, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…” According to this scripture, we don’t have the capacity to love without God giving us that ability as we surrender to Him.
Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire or a passionate feeling. These kinds of feelings come and go.
So how are people able to “love” when they don’t know God? They can’t. At least they are not able to love with God’s type of love. God’s love is a special love the Bible calls “agape”. It is a love that flows out of the will and does not change. It is the most stable and predictable kind of love and the only type that can provide a lasting foundation in marriage.
Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire (the Greek word “eros” where we get the word erotic) or a passionate feeling (“thumos” where we get our thermos). These kinds of feelings come and go. When they go for very long, many people give the old line “I don’t love you anymore” and are out the door.
Agape love, however, is a committed and sacrificial love that is modeled after Jesus. When Jesus tells us He loves us, He isn’t talking about a feeling that comes and goes. He is telling us He is committed to us forever and will not change. Whether His feelings for us are positive or negative, it doesn’t change His commitment to us.
We really need to consider what we mean when we tell our spouse, “I love you”. Are we saying that we are experiencing a fleeting feeling or are we saying we are committed to him or her forever and will demonstrate love regardless of bad feelings or negative circumstances? It isn’t wrong to express a feeling, as long as when that feeling isn’t there any more, you can still say “I love you,” and do the right thing regardless of the situation.
People controlled by their emotions are unreliable, and their moodiness can do a lot of damage to relationships.
People controlled by their emotions are unreliable, and their moodiness can do a lot of damage to relationships. The most stable and dependable people in relationships are those who are submitted to the influence of the Holy Spirit. They are powered by a supernatural love that will do the right thing through thick and thin.
Ask God to fill you with the power of His Holy Spirit. He never intends for us to go around trying to love people out of the shallow well of our own emotions. The ocean of His love is always available to any of us who would just admit our weaknesses and depend upon Him. His agape love is the highest love and will transform any person, relationship or marriage under its influence.
In Galatians 5:22-23, the Apostle Paul tells us the fruit of the Spirit is, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…” According to this scripture, we don’t have the capacity to love without God giving us that ability as we surrender to Him.
Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire or a passionate feeling. These kinds of feelings come and go.
So how are people able to “love” when they don’t know God? They can’t. At least they are not able to love with God’s type of love. God’s love is a special love the Bible calls “agape”. It is a love that flows out of the will and does not change. It is the most stable and predictable kind of love and the only type that can provide a lasting foundation in marriage.
Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire (the Greek word “eros” where we get the word erotic) or a passionate feeling (“thumos” where we get our thermos). These kinds of feelings come and go. When they go for very long, many people give the old line “I don’t love you anymore” and are out the door.
Agape love, however, is a committed and sacrificial love that is modeled after Jesus. When Jesus tells us He loves us, He isn’t talking about a feeling that comes and goes. He is telling us He is committed to us forever and will not change. Whether His feelings for us are positive or negative, it doesn’t change His commitment to us.
We really need to consider what we mean when we tell our spouse, “I love you”. Are we saying that we are experiencing a fleeting feeling or are we saying we are committed to him or her forever and will demonstrate love regardless of bad feelings or negative circumstances? It isn’t wrong to express a feeling, as long as when that feeling isn’t there any more, you can still say “I love you,” and do the right thing regardless of the situation.
People controlled by their emotions are unreliable, and their moodiness can do a lot of damage to relationships.
People controlled by their emotions are unreliable, and their moodiness can do a lot of damage to relationships. The most stable and dependable people in relationships are those who are submitted to the influence of the Holy Spirit. They are powered by a supernatural love that will do the right thing through thick and thin.
Ask God to fill you with the power of His Holy Spirit. He never intends for us to go around trying to love people out of the shallow well of our own emotions. The ocean of His love is always available to any of us who would just admit our weaknesses and depend upon Him. His agape love is the highest love and will transform any person, relationship or marriage under its influence.
One Heart, One Home and One Mind
…the two shall become one flesh…” Genesis 2:24b
When God created marriage, He created foundational laws for it to be guided and guarded. One of those laws is the law of possession. It is stated in the Scripture above. Once we are married we are no longer two, but one.
Certainly, this relates to the beauty of sexual intimacy that is unique within the marriage relationship. But it also goes far beyond that and is a profoundly important concept to understand. The law of possession means that for marriage to work, we must share everything and possess nothing apart from one another.
…God created marriage to produce the deepest intimacy and bonding possible in a human relationship. Once we are married, we must yield our rights over our own bodies.
To illustrate the truth of this point, look at these words from the Apostle Paul: “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
The meaning of this Scripture reveals how God created marriage to produce the deepest intimacy and bonding possible in a human relationship. Once we are married, we must yield our rights over our own bodies. This isn’t a license for abuse, it is a guarantee of use in getting our needs met. The context of Paul’s words is sex in marriage
In God’s design, we can’t withhold from each other. This includes sex or any other area. We must give everything we have to each other and share everything. This is why it is called the law of possession. The only way two different individuals can become one is if both of us are willing to take what was ours individually and now surrender it to the common cause.
This law stands in stark contrast to marriage in our modern society. Rather than surrendering and sharing with a sacrificial, servant spirit — couples are more selfish and independent than ever. It is “my” body “my” money “my”—career. etc. The bottom line is this—the word “my” destroys the spirit of marriage. The word “ours” creates the spirit of marriage.
Marriage is about sharing our lives with each other. That requires giving of ourselves and caring for each other. It means we don’t make decisions without the agreement of our spouses. It means we don’t withdraw sex or anything else in the relationship to punish or control. It means all of the money and assets of the family belong to both spouses equally, regardless of where they came from or who went to work to earn them.
Selfishness and independence destroy the spirit of marriage. Giving and sharing create the strongest bond of intimacy possible. This intimacy is so powerful that the word used to describe it is “one”. Two people becoming one heart, one home and one mind as they lay aside their individualism and selfishness is what marriage is all about.
I encourage you to consider this point related to your own marriage. It is an area we can all grow in.
When God created marriage, He created foundational laws for it to be guided and guarded. One of those laws is the law of possession. It is stated in the Scripture above. Once we are married we are no longer two, but one.
Certainly, this relates to the beauty of sexual intimacy that is unique within the marriage relationship. But it also goes far beyond that and is a profoundly important concept to understand. The law of possession means that for marriage to work, we must share everything and possess nothing apart from one another.
…God created marriage to produce the deepest intimacy and bonding possible in a human relationship. Once we are married, we must yield our rights over our own bodies.
To illustrate the truth of this point, look at these words from the Apostle Paul: “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
The meaning of this Scripture reveals how God created marriage to produce the deepest intimacy and bonding possible in a human relationship. Once we are married, we must yield our rights over our own bodies. This isn’t a license for abuse, it is a guarantee of use in getting our needs met. The context of Paul’s words is sex in marriage
In God’s design, we can’t withhold from each other. This includes sex or any other area. We must give everything we have to each other and share everything. This is why it is called the law of possession. The only way two different individuals can become one is if both of us are willing to take what was ours individually and now surrender it to the common cause.
This law stands in stark contrast to marriage in our modern society. Rather than surrendering and sharing with a sacrificial, servant spirit — couples are more selfish and independent than ever. It is “my” body “my” money “my”—career. etc. The bottom line is this—the word “my” destroys the spirit of marriage. The word “ours” creates the spirit of marriage.
Marriage is about sharing our lives with each other. That requires giving of ourselves and caring for each other. It means we don’t make decisions without the agreement of our spouses. It means we don’t withdraw sex or anything else in the relationship to punish or control. It means all of the money and assets of the family belong to both spouses equally, regardless of where they came from or who went to work to earn them.
Selfishness and independence destroy the spirit of marriage. Giving and sharing create the strongest bond of intimacy possible. This intimacy is so powerful that the word used to describe it is “one”. Two people becoming one heart, one home and one mind as they lay aside their individualism and selfishness is what marriage is all about.
I encourage you to consider this point related to your own marriage. It is an area we can all grow in.
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