Monday, February 7, 2011
Dealing with your Past
Every person has some kind of baggage they bring in with them when they get married. Common examples of baggage are hurts that have never been dealt with, unforgiveness, generational sins from the wrong behaviors we were raised around, and quirks in our personalities that have never been fixed.
In order to deal with your past, you first of all have to be willing to be blatantly honest with yourself. We have a tendency to see the flaws in our spouse and associate them with how messed up their family is or past was but sometimes we are blind to our own issues. We need to honestly look at some of our less than stellar qualities and ask this question: “Could I be this way because of something in my past that I haven’t dealt with?”
The answer is always — yes! All of us are the sum total of our pasts. The good things in our past produce the good qualities in our lives today. The bad things in our pasts that we haven’t dealt with create personality problems, emotional issues, relational difficulties and last but not least marriage trouble.
When you begin dealing with your past, the first thing to do is to surrender to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you anything or anyone in your past you need to deal with. The second critical issue is always forgiveness. All of us have deep hurts from our past. Without forgiveness, our hurts become festering wounds that never heal and cause our personalities to malform around them. The simple act of forgiveness can set you free from your past and free for your future faster than almost anything else you can do.
Finally, we must take responsibility for our own problems. An example is the issue of generational sins. As we realize that our parents may have modeled a wrong behavior to us we must forgive them and then repent to God for our own sins. If we live blaming our parents or others in our past for our problems, we will never be set free.
We must also learn to repent to our spouses and others around us for our negative behavior. As we see the association between our past issues and present behavior, we also need to see how that negative behavior effects others. When we do this and take responsibility for it our baggage drops off of us and our past truly becomes the past with no negative influence on our lives today.
Ask the Lord to help you as you surrender to the process. Don’t focus on your spouse. You’ll be surprised how quickly their baggage drops off once you begin to change.
Maintaining an atmosphere of purity in your marriage
Marriage problems will never be solved by revenge and retaliation.
1. Take responsibility for your own behavior.
Jesus said it best: "How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?" (Luke 6:42, NIV).
When it comes to sin, focus first on yourself. You cannot change your spouse, but with God's help, you can change your own behavior. Take responsibility for your own words and actions.
2. Do not return sin for sin.
Again, we should listen to the words of Christ: "Be merciful, just as your father is merciful" (Luke 6:36, NIV). Jesus said to do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you.
Marriage problems will never be solved by revenge and retaliation. Those attitudes and behaviors will only make the problem worse. To keep your marriage pure, make up your mind today that you will not sin in response to whatever your husband or wife might say or do.
This allows God to use your behavior to help your spouse respect and trust you. Purity—not sin—is the best way to deal with marriage problems, because the power of love and righteousness is far greater than the power of evil.
3. Admit your faults.
This is difficult even for the best of us, but a heartfelt "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" can heal a marriage faster than almost anything else. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9, NIV). To be right with God, we must admit our mistakes.
The same cycle that applies in our spiritual lives also works in our married lives. Honesty is a virtue in marriage. So is humility. Investing in both of those will pay high dividends. Forgiveness and purity begins when one spouse admits that he or she has been wrong.
4. Forgive.
What good is it if we admit our faults to one another if we are not then willing to offer forgiveness? Jesus said, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15, NIV).
A lack of forgiveness poisons our hearts, and that's why it is such a major issue with God. A blessed, refreshed marriage results when we get rid of the unhealthy thoughts and feelings that stem from an unforgiving spirit.
If you want a godly marriage, you must confess your own failures while forgiving those of your spouse. Next week we'll discuss three more ways to maintain an atmosphere of purity in marriage.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Pursuit of Joy
my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your
partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of
this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion
until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Happiness is external.
Joy is internal.
(2 Corinthians 4:16-18) “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though
outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed
day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for
us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes
not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is
temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Happiness is based on circumstances.
Joy is based on Christ.
(Philippians 4:11) “...for I have learned to be content whatever the
circumstances.”
Happiness is based on chance.
1. Get over the distraction of what happened.
(Philippians 1:12) “Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has
happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.”
2. Discover the new opportunities.
(Philippians 1:13-14) “As a result, it has become clear throughout
the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for
Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord
have been encouraged to speak the word of God more
courageously and fearlessly.”
3. Focus on what really matters.
(Philippians 1:15-18) “It is true that some preach Christ out of envy
and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love,
knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The
former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely,
supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.
But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way,
whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And
because of this I rejoice.”
Ultimate Joy
(Philippians 1:21) “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
Joy is based on choice. When you know Christ, you’re in a
(Deuteronomy 30:19) “This day I call heaven and earth as win-win situation.
witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death,
blessings and curses. Now choose life...”
No Matter What
(Philippians 1:9-11) “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound
more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be
able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the
day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through
Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God.”
(Revelation 12:11) “They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so
much as to shrink from death.”
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Baggage Check
Do we ever feel as though there is something that is weighing us down? Maybe we don't know how to identify it or what it is? Here are five things that God's word points out that will cause extra baggage in our lives... Unfulfilled expectations.
Untreated pain.
Unresolved yesterdays.
Unhealthy view of self.
Unrepented sin.
Let us trust fully in what God is showing us through his word and always rely on his strength and not our own.
(2 Corinthians 10:5) “We demolish arguments and every pretension that
Here are three ways of how God will remove and get rid of baggage in your life.
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Saturday, October 9, 2010
Encounters - Week 4 ( Purpose )
(2 Corinthians 3:18) “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
(Matthew 5:16) “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
(1 Peter 2:9) “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
God wants to reveal Himself to you.
(Isaiah 6:1-3) In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”
God wants to settle the issue of yesterday.
(Isaiah 6:4-7) At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”
God wants to give you a seemingly impossible vision.
(Isaiah 6:8-9) Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” He said, “Go and tell this people…”
Encounters on Purpose
(Acts 9:3-6) As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked. “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
1. Take a step of faith.
(Acts 20:22) “And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there.
(Hebrews 11:6) “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”
2. Expect resistance.
(Acts 20:23) “I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me.”
(1 Thessalonians 2:18) “For we wanted to come to you--certainly I, Paul, did, again and again--but Satan stopped us.”
3. Focus on eternity.
(Acts 20:24) “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus Christ has given me– the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”
(2 Corinthians 4:16-18) “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Encounters - Week 3 ( You’re My Healer )
(Mark 5:24-34) A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ” But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
Two-Fold Provision of the Cross
Salvation
(Ephesians 1:7) “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”
Healing
(1 Peter 2:24) “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.”
(Isaiah 53:5) “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”
(Psalm 103:2-3) “Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.”
(1 Corinthians 10:16) “Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in the body of Christ?”
You’re My Healer
(Mark 2:1-12) A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins…” He said to the paralytic, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!”
1. Have faith in God.
(Mark 11:22-24) “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
2. Pray with faith.
(James 5:14-15) “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.”
3. Trust God no matter what.
(2 Timothy 4:18) “The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Week 2 (Overcoming the Obstacles)
(Exodus 3:1-5) Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight--why the bush does not burn up.” When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!” And Moses said, “Here I am.” “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” Then he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.
Overcoming the Obstacles
Who am I?
(Exodus 3:11-12) But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”
(Hebrews 4:15-16) “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Who are you?
(Exodus 3:13-14) Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”
(1 Corinthians 2:3-5) “I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.”
What if they?
(Exodus 4:1-5) Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The LORD did not appear to you’?” Then the LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?” “A staff,” he replied. The LORD said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it. Then the LORD said to him, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.” So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. “This,” said the LORD, “is so that they may believe that the LORD, the God of their fathers--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has appeared to you.”
(John 12:42-43) “Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God.”
(Proverbs 29:25) “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.”
I have never.
(Exodus 4:10-12) Moses said to the LORD, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The LORD said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
(Hebrews 11:6) “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”